Winning Your Way Every Time (Counteract Instead of Complain)

April 21, 2016

Motivational saying about success people and leadership. This who train will succeed and hard work

Power Episode #113 – Welcome to Designing your Life Today. This is your host Pat Council, and this is Wonderful Wednesday, and what a wonderful Wednesday it is. I don’t know what the weather’s like where you guys are, but here in Jacksonville, Florida, things are warming up and they are warming up nicely. I like hot weather, not too hot, but it’s hot enough. It’s really nice here and it’s a beautiful day. Where ever you guys are, I’m sure it’s a beautiful day too. If you say no, it’s snowing outside, it’s beautiful. Why? You’re up, you’re making life happen, and it’s all good. Let’s move on with our show. I want to remind you guys to check out Pat Council Live on YouTube. If you haven’t seen my video Bounce Back Ability, you can go there and get three very specific ways that you can bounce back no matter what you’re going through. These three tips will help you to jump start your life and get back on the right track. I think you’ll enjoy it. It’s upbeat, it’s positive, and it full of enthusiasm, but it’s also full of instructions and information that will help you get on target so that you can do life with power. Coming up is my next video, it’s going to be all about two phrases that you want to eliminate from your vocabulary, or at least, you want to work hard to eliminate them from your vocabulary. These two phrases can actually prevent you or slow down your success and your goal achievement. So, check it out. Go to YouTube and look for Pat Council Live. You guys can have a great time hanging out on Pat Council Live. While you’re there, click that subscribe button so you don’t miss any of these videos because they are going to be full of instructions and information to help you continue to move forward. You want to get lots of information.

Do you know that I went through all or most of the magazines that are out this month, or all of the success and business magazines? I went through quite a few of them and most of them have articles about learning and doing your part to learn on your own.  If you work at a corporation or you work a job, it’s not to wait for that corporation to pay for your education.  It suggests that you listen to podcasts, among other things. If you guys are really interested in growing, you want to continue to listen to podcasts that are going to bring you information. The part about podcasts is that they are quick, they’re fun to listen to, and it’s easy to download or write out the information. Speaking of which, we are still transcribing our shows. They require a little more work than I thought they would, and as soon as the transcriptions are done we will upload them. We have one or two up there now, and you can check those out. Just go to and click on podcast and you’ll see Transcripts there. We are bringing you more and more. The beautiful part about us bringing the transcripts is that you can actually download the transcript, print them, put them into a binder, and keep them for later. You have your success tips right there.

What are we going to talk about today? We’re going to talk about winning your way every single time. You hear you can win every single time…. Yes you can. However, in life you have to follow certain principles and rules in order to get to where you want to be. Unfortunately in this day and time, there are a lot of people who are following the rule of complaining and believing that if they complain loud enough, long enough, and hard enough, they’re going to get what they want and they’re going to win that battle. While they may win the battle, they’re going to lose the war. Overall, they’re not going to win, because for every time you have to tug and pull at someone to give you something, it’s taking something out of you and making you feel like you have to be subservient to another human being. It cuts into your power and it takes away from your understanding that there is a higher power that you can connect to that will bring you everything that you want, and that can manage all of this chaos that’s going on in our society. So, I wanted to talk about what to do about that. How you win your way every single time?

Now, I have to tell you what my idea of winning your way means. It means that when you win your way, you’re getting what you want. In other words, you’re reaching the goal that you have set. You’re reaching the goal, whatever you are focused on, and whatever the original intent was or if the original focus was for going after this “thing”, that you’re actually going to achieve that goal. That’s what winning your way every time is. It’s all about getting what you want. Sometimes people are caught up in how they get it, and they want to get it either through bullying or showing that they are the alpha male. Now there’s the phrase, alpha female. I don’t want to be an alpha female. Am I a business woman? Yes. Am I a good business woman? Absolutely, but I don’t think that I want to be compared to men. I have my own thing going on as a woman. The point is that in the race to win, people want to show that they’re tougher, they’re smarter, and they’re capable of outdoing that person.  Sometimes, that’s a waste of energy and a waste of time, because the object of the game is for you to get out of the game what you wanted. In other words, win the game. That’s really what it’s all about.

Today, I’m going you three ideas that you can use that will help you to move forward. I call this winning your way every time. Instead of complaining, you counteract. Go to the opposite of what the issue is. If you feel that someone is holding you back, which if you understand even a little bit about how you’re made…. We’re four parts in terms of the power cores: emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual. If you understand your spiritual side, then you know that no one can stop you, and no one can prevent you from winning. In every history, if you go back and look through different parts of history and throughout the various decades in history, you will find that there were people of different races and different genders that should not have won the game, or should not have accomplished what they set out to accomplish. However, the people that wanted to stop them were not able to stop them. When we talk about winning your way every time, the reality of it is that whatever your true purpose or calling is, when you step into that and you connect whatever it is that you’re doing to that, there’s no way that you’re not going to cross the finish line. So, the opposite of complaining in my world is actually counteracting, because the reality of it is that the opposite of complaining and forcing your way to something can actually be counteracted by using the fruit of the spirit. It says, against such, there is no law, meaning that if someone is going against you, and they’re violating universal principles put in place by God, they’re not going to win. I don’t care how smart they are. They’re not going to win because principles trump even smarts, unless they are using the same principles.  In which case, may the person with the most endurance win. Here’s the beautiful part about that. If they are using the same principles, there will not be a battle because you both understand that these principles are the highest principles. When you’re both operating at that level, you’re going to come to a meeting of the minds and you are going to make it happen. It’s all win-win.

I’m going to give you these three points for winning your way every single time. In this day and time, we forget how we’re made. There are people who think that for some reason we’re to struggle.  Life is supposed to be a struggle. It’s a big struggle. It’s so hard. I want to clear something up right now. First of all, we are not here to just work and make money to pay bills, and have no life whatsoever. Number two, we are not here to just struggle through life and then die. That’s not true. We’re supposed to enjoy our lives while we’re here. You enjoy your life by subscribing to certain principles. How do you know what principles to subscribe to? You have to learn them, and that’s when the show, periodically, we are going to bring you more principles. If you go to our website, click on resources, and go to the wealthy part, you get to see some new principles there. We added more principles for you and you can actually learn more about those principles over time. The best way to use those principles is to see how they actually apply to your life. How do they apply to you and what you’re going through? When you can do that, you will be surprised as to what comes out of that. I’ll just go ahead and give you the end of the story. Here’s the spoiler alert. The spoiler alert is that when you learn these principles and you understand how to apply them to your life, then you use them and you apply them to certain situations. Those situations are going to be subdued and come under your control. It’s going to be controlled in a way that will allow you to excel in life. Anything that’s been holding you back, all you have to do is find the right spiritual principle to put it in play, and when you put it in play, you won’t fail. It’s as simple as that.

I’m going to give you these three tips. They’re very short, but they’re very powerful.  I talked about the opposite of complaining and in forcing your way through something; the other side of this is kindness and faith. That’s the opposite of complaining and forcing your way through something. In this day and time people are so angry and things are becoming so volatile because in a sense, we don’t know another way. However, there is another way. Another way is kindness and faith, and when you can put kindness and faith into play, keeping in mind that with faith there has to be some action. That means it still require some work on your part, but we have to recognize the kind of work that we need to do in order to get to where it is we want to be. Whatever it is you are working on, or whatever you’re goals are for this year, whatever your stance is as it relates to what’s going on around you and how you want to make it better, take a moment and counteract it. Look to the opposite side of that. That’s the first tip that I have for you. Look at the other side of the complaint, for example, the opposite side of using race and gender as a reason….. Don’t get me wrong.  As an African-American, I know this is very real. You get shut out of things and locked out of things, and people hear you talking as it’s like you’re not saying any real words because you don’t look like them. I get that it can happen sometimes, but that’s not everywhere you go and everybody’s not the same. Just because they’re of the same race or nationality, or have the background or whatever, they are not the same. Principles are what separate us.

My point here is that, when people get angry because of race or they think it’s because of their gender, and they may very well be right, the opposite of that is to use excellence and focus.  When you use excellence and focus you’re falling in line with faith. Why? In order for you to be a person of faith, you  have to be focused because you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you deserve to have the best , and that you are going to go for that best. So, in that respect, you are not letting anyone hold you back, and you are not giving away your energy and your power to another living human being. I have a saying from my life- they didn’t make me. If they didn’t make me, they don’t get to run my life to the nth degree. So, neither should you allow anyone to run your life to the nth degree. Does that mean that we become rebellious and violent, go against whatever, or complain on the job, or complain in our business, or think that we didn’t get a contract because of how we look? Don’t even waste time with that. Now, if it’s something where you’ve been wrong and you could make it right, you can do that through kindness, gentleness, and meekness. Meekness doesn’t mean that you are a wuss. It means it that you are interacting or activating a fruit of the Spirit. You are going to use your meekness to stand up for yourself, but you are not going to do it being obnoxious and rude. In which case, you give people a reason not to like you and not to want to give you what you want.  So, when we talk about counteracting instead of complaining, I don’t want you to think that this is all about you being this weakling of a person. No. This is about you being stronger than the weak person who is either trying to stop you, or doing something that doesn’t work for you, or you think that they are somehow in control of your life or in control of your income. Listen, if you can honestly say that I am operating in the realm of excellence, I am focused on what it is I’m doing, I’m becoming the best at what it is I’m doing, and then someone’s treating you wrongly, here’s how it works. These principles are real and unbreakable and unbendable, and the way it works is the doors of opportunity will open for you. You just have to be in tune to those doors. How are you going to be in tune?  If you’re complaining, you’re going to miss a whole lot. That’s why it’s important.  There are so many people out there who have succeeded on a higher level, and they’re wealthy today because of it. They went through injustices on the job, and because they counteracted it by becoming excellent and staying focused, they saw their opportunity to take the nearest exit to either a job that paid more that elevated them to a higher position, or they started their own business and ended up making more than the supervisor or person that was trying to hold them back. That really does work.  I’m going to give you the other two points and then I’m going to come back and give you a very real story to prove to you how that can work when you use the action of counteracting something, instead of complaining about it. We’re going to take a quick break, and then we are going to come back, and we’re going to find out more.

After Commercial:

Hey guys, welcome back to designingyourlifetoday. This is your host Pat Council, and I just want to remind you guys to check out our website We have a lot of goodies and, great resources for you there. Also, my free info graphic, Goal, Achievement, Success is there. It talks you through or walks you through how to establish a solid foundation for setting your goals. A lot of times that’s why people are hit and miss when it comes to their goals. If you don’t start out right you, as the saying goes, you won’t finish right. The reality of it is most of the time you won’t even finish, so if you can set the right foundation, you will definitely complete the goal.

Now let’s get back to Winning Your Way Every Time (Counteracting Instead of Complaining). To win your way every time, you have to have the right principles in place. I told you guys I’d tell you are a true story that proves that. When I was in the military, there was a First Sergeant and he didn’t like women being in the military, but not only that, he especially didn’t like African-American women period. I’m an African American woman so he didn’t like me, and no matter what I did it’s almost as if he had something to say about it. Well, all it made me did was become better and better and I reached a point where I studied the regulations to the extent that if I wanted to, I could’ve corrected him and showed him that he was off the mark. That would’ve been a waste of time and a bit foolish being in the military. However, I knew I was going to get out of the military because I had a different calling on my life. I can remember when it was time for me to get out and he was supposed to give this retention talk, and my retention conversation with him behind closed doors was that I should go home, get married, and have some babies. Needless to say, I did some of that, but not for the reason that he meant it. The point of the story is that instead of complaining about what he’d said to me, I made a decision that day that not only was I going to get out(not because of him), but I was going to become a success. I was going to become more of a success then even he could possibly imagine. This wasn’t about him, but the point of the story is that I counteracted my complaining by focusing on my highest and best that I could be by not listening to this petty and silly man who was telling me something that was insulting and degrading. It was a put down. What did I care? I was never going to see him again. If I did, and this may sound a little bit arrogant, but I’d have already done more in the short period of time out of the military than he’d probably done up that point in his life. Instead of complaining, I became better and I rose above all of that.  It points to what I said- If you stay in excellence and if you stay focused on where you’re going and the outcome, and not allow silly things like that to disrupt you and cause you to complain, which blocks your blessing, then the doors of opportunity are going to open for you everywhere. Since I didn’t complain, not only did I get offers before I got out of the military to become an officer, that means I would probably eventually have been his boss, but I decided to get out and the opportunities were still coming even after I left the military. I went on to civilian life and continue to have a great career. I am all for counteracting ignorance. I’m all for counteracting complaining by going for excellence and staying focused on the outcome that I want for my life. The minute you start complaining, you’ve just given your power over to the person. I was not about to give my power over to some guy who I was never going to see again, and even if I did see him again,  I was a civilian and he wouldn’t  have carried that much weight in my life in terms of me having to listen to anything he had to say.

Let’s press on. I gave you the first point which was look at the other side of the complaint, and I gave you an example to the opposite side that if someone is using race and gender, you go for excellence and focus. The second point is, create a plan based on a positive counter attack. That’s a little bit military, doesn’t it? It’s also an oxymoron. When I think a positive counterattack, I’m saying is, you create your plan based on where you’re headed and based on what works for you. Don’t create your plan based on something somebody who’s unenlightened says. Can you imagine if you let that person derail you or knock you off your game, or shift your focus away from your goals? They win. Even if you take the time to go and complain about them to someone else, they still win. Why? They took you away from your focus and they took you away from your original aim or your intent- the goal that you intended for your life. They disrupted that pattern for you. So, the object of the game is that, the minute something like that happens be sure that you have a plan that’s based on a positive counter attack. The simple plan is excellence and focus on where you’re going. What is it you want out of the situation? Once you know what you want out of the situation, putting together a plan is going to be easy. Now the implementation of it takes time, but the mere fact that you took the time to implement or put together a plan, it’s going to make you feel better and it’s going to make you feel more in control. The reality of it is that you are more in control of you.

The third point is, continue to move forward towards your targeted goal. This all sounds very military and you guys know that I’m a veteran. The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t matter what’s coming at you because there are things in life that are going to come at you. If you stop to fight all those tiny little battles, you are totally going to lose the war. If you stop for every little hiccup, or every time someone says something that offends you or upsets you, and you allow that to cause your emotions to flip out a little bit, then you just gave your control over to either a total stranger or a person who’s unenlightened or a person who person is a peanut head. So, you want to do that because if you give your power over to a person like that, you have gone down to their level and they are winning. The object of the game is that when things happen that you would most likely want to complain about, or you most likely want to get angry about or argue and fuss about it, you’re putting a new set of principles into play. Those principles fall under strife, and so once you start to do that, all that it’s going to do is make you upset. You’re going to take a lot longer to regroup, and what you’re going to attract when you put out that kind of energy is something that you won’t like. It’s either going to stop you. It’s either going to poke holes into your confidence and your self-esteem, or it’s going to convince you, whether true or not, that perhaps you shouldn’t even be going for the goal.

So, with that being said, those are the three points to help you win every single time. If you keep these in mind, you will win every single time. You will achieve the goal. You will get to where you want to be. Remember, I talked about kindness and faith, and there are others.  There is gentleness, there’s temperance, and there’s patience. These are the most powerful weapons that you can use instead of complaining. Furthermore, when you put them into play, these are principles that are unbendable and unbreakable, and against these there is nothing that can supersede or overcome these and take you down. You will reach your goal. You will get to where you want to be, and you will be doing life with power. I just want to remind you that we have the small business lady here with us tomorrow, Melinda Emerson. So, if you are interested in starting a business or if you already own a business and you want to know how to take that business to the next level, you want to listen to Design Your Life Today tomorrow. Hey guys, that’s all I have for you today. Enjoy this Wonderful Wednesday and keep doing life with power.


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